See that light in that tunnel? Well that’s not the end of the tunnel, that’s a train coming your direction, and you better get ready for it.
Some time ago, by some miracle, you figured out how to go from being a cro-magnon male, to being a just decent enough human, that you were able to acquire the interest of a female.
You washed yourself up and dressed yourself appropriately. Then you wooed her into believing you are near enough to perfect, that you were worth marrying. Assuming that is how you came to be in a bed with her, nature took its course and nature being nature, you find that you are now staring at a line on a little device that means she is pregnant.
First, be happy. Really happy. Not, “Oh, hey, that’s cool” happy. More like, “ Are you freaking kidding me!” kind of happy. Dancing around with her might be a good move. Hugging her would be a really good idea too. Then, get ready, because you are entering the world of trimesters, hormones, and other mysteries. What are some of the simple clues and actions that will help to make her pregnancy a better experience?
Things are gonna change for you, but not like they’re going to change for her. As soon as she became pregnant, she entered her first trimester. By the word “tri” you may sort out that there are three segments to her pregnancy. Over the whole 9 month pregnancy, her body is going to begin changing in miraculous, stunning, and sometimes uncomfortable ways. She is going to alternate between crazy excitement and paralyzing fear.
Where you enter into the picture of her pregnancy, and where it becomes your pregnancy too, is in how you support her through the whole process. Your job description includes masseuse, cook, decorators assistant, advisor, therapist, research assistant, personal assistant, house cleaner, and really, anything that helps her get through this time.
Empathy comes from knowledge, so educate yourself. Learning what she will be going through, but not being a know it all, is a critical task. You’re not her doctor, and she doesn’t need more people telling her what she’s going through and what she’s going to have to face. Your knowledge is just to understand as you move through the process, so you can be more supportive when she needs you to be.
Make time in your schedule for the appointments. Doctor’s appointments, ultrasounds, whatever is a part of the process, do your best to be there. Understand the birth plan and be ready to do your part in it.
Do what got you here in the first place
Love your wife, tell her how beautiful she is, flirt with her, pursue her, and love her. As she changes, any self-consciousness that existed before is likely to be magnified as her body changes. Appreciate the changes, revel in her new voluptuousness. Appreciate her growing belly, and appreciate the bumps as they move mystically across it.
This is one of the most amazing relational moments in our human experience. You can either play a full and enriching part or miss it as it rolls past you. Jump on board and enjoy the ride, because when you meet this passenger, your life will never be the same again.